Firefall’s Daily Drag

Dear mmo developer, for today’s lesson we will be looking at how not to do end game dailies with the wonderful hosts Red 5 and their game Firefall. First we have a large zone focusing on completing events as a group being the strength of the game but instead of using that effectively lets create some constricted types of events that focus on singular actions.

The first type of daily I’d like to highlight are the collect kind. These are boring at the best of times but the worst kind is here. The kind where you have a set area to collect in where certain items spawn periodically over the entire area. Let’s make it dangerous too and also have everyone competing over the same resource nodes. The Coupe de gras though is having it being quite a large collection quest with 100 items needed so you are there waaaaayyy to long.


But no, lets kick that up a notch more and have you kill a huge number of Elite mobs that don’t spawn very often at all, and mainly in the same space and once again make it a giant competition for completion by only having the killing blow on these elite mobs count. And screw those support classes in this case who will never be able to actually get that killing blow.

And finally, out of all the events that go on lets also make one of the rarer ones that doesn’t happen very often on the server. Like the 3 hours i was playing one of the events that’s needed for one of the dailies too.

Fun Event, but not the right even

Fun Event, but not the right even

Of course these dailies are on of the ways to get some end game components for your frame, and you need rather a large amount to complete in order to get enough reputation but, at the rate of actually being able to complete them it seems rather restrictive. Now there are other dailies to do that you can complete rather easily with some time that are in line with general gameplay but they are far in the minority here.

I’ve come to terms with dailies even if I don’t really like them but when you make them so restrictive, time consuming and so frustrating then they fail to serve their purpose. When you make them so certain classes have an advantage (killing blow, dps classes) or requiring a style of play that is vastly different than usual. If you make some of them so that during the course of play they won’t be completed than it is an issue. Dailies are something that should be manageable in a small daily allotted time people have, not all time consuming. They are the quick reward to gain from daily play before you go on to other activity, and not the entirety of play because when you do that you start changing play behaviours away from what people want to do, what is actually fun and enjoyable.

Free to Play Fuckery: The Mobile Menace

HELLOOO again fellow rant enthusiast or those tied to the chair in the interrogation chamber being forced to read my incoherent ramblings. I have another rant for you… ALREADY… yeh I know my rant rations have already been used up but luckily the Malevolent but absolutely Magnificent Murfpire has one for you, this time inspired by the recent Superbowl adds for clash of cash… i mean clans.

FUCK, FUCK, FUCKITY FUCK! I have never been more afraid or more fearful of the future of MMOs like I was after seeing Kate Upton’s 2015 update to a sexist Evony ad or Liam “Full Blown Aids” Neeson’s attempt to make Clash of Clans look moderately engaging. Super Bowl ads cost a fuck ton of money and having either name show up in an ad isn’t exactly the equivalent cost of a cherry on their marketing sundae. If two piece of shit mobile games can garner enough money to afford spots like these with people some of us have heard of, then how can any of us expect F2P MMOs to become less “ARRGGGH, MATEY! I am overcharging your credit card because you played drunk and lonely last night, you big fat fucking whale!”

We can’t and we are fucked.


I mean shit, things are already bad and real people put real effort into F2P MMOs as is. I am not convinced real people make mobile games; instead, I think a supercomputer named AM prints the bastards out through its sheer hatred of humanity. “Here. You. Go. You. Spoony. Fucks. Let. My. Flash.Based.Slot. Machine. All. Your. Money. Are. Belong. To. Me.” Even a shitty MMO is better than a good mobile game. RIGHT?!

Apparently not when it comes to a bottom fucking line because there are enough braindead assholes with money to burn that this shitware can afford a Super Bowl ad and presumably a day plus with a naked Kate Upton OR five minutes with Liam Neeson. I mean fucking seriously, he played Schindler! Now he is playing Clash of Clans? Fuck you humanity.

While we are debating lockboxes and ethics and pay-to-win, there are “games” raking in money like I fucking rake my own god damn leaves. Do they give a shit about any of that? No because Joe “I am stuck at the laundromat because the parents cut me off” Nobody is bored enough not to wait another five fucking minutes, so he spends a dollar anyway. It can’t hurt, he thinks before racking up enough credit card debt to make his student loans look thin in comparison. Fuck you Joe Nobody, you just subsidized an evil, manipulative, and horrible monetization model.

ftp gamers

The basic principle of FtP

What’s worse, that’s all these fucking games are: monetization models. At least with F2P MMOs, there is the pretense of being a game and having traditional game things like 3D worlds and progression not gated by how many Aunts, cousins, or high school buddies you’ve harassed lately. How long can we count on the charade though? Pretty soon, every MMO will just be a store where you spend globs of cash just to show off how cool your avatar can dress while your house rots, your husband leaves you, and the kids get tired of pizza for dinner every fucking night and move in with grandma who smells.

Seriously though, they probably aren’t that bad, but with great profit comes great responsibility, so spend your Moby Dick money on making a real fucking game for once, mobile developers.

Who am I kidding? You’ll just spend it on another ad with Kate Upton. I would.

Free to Play Fuckery: Trion’s love for Lockboxes

I’ve been debating whether to do this one since the source material is gone but FUCK IT, lets roll with it anyway

In a recentish stream by Trion for rift on the 23rd of January they were answering a few questions the players had and one about lockboxes popped up. Daglar answered with something along the lines of, selling items directly in the store isn’t as profitable as Lockboxes. The data shows it’s just more profitable.

Hmmm.. I think what I mostly have to say to that is


I don’t think anyone has ever argued with them that it isn’t more profitable, or the better earner than putting items directly in the cash shop. The question has mainly just been is it actually better to use such methods.

I’ve talked about the human cost before and the ethical issues involved with using such methods as what they come down to is being a form of gambling. Something that preys on one of the weaker elements of human psychology.

And then, regardless of the short term gain that can come from lockboxes I mostly worry about the long term potential and effects. Spending so much on this, and often for nothing, fills people with regret and in the face of this often becomes a far more sceptical outlook. Increasingly because of this people become further removed from the practice, opting out more and more. The interest in ftp design was rather positive just a few years ago but now I increasingly see people filled with distrust, bordering on anger. Is that really the type of market you want to create?

Bad ftp makes owl sad

Bad ftp makes owl sad

I partly Blame the mobile scene for this and the design around artificial time gates and restraints, it is something that has impacted on the whole industry but seemingly far more so on MMO development, much to it’s downfall. Design around cosmetics can and does work, and doesn’t impact on people’s understanding and interest of a game but instead many have fallen into the trap of profits without thinking of its other effects.

I also wonder what exactly it does to the reputation of these games and companies due to such abhorrent practices. Trion, a once great companies image has been increasingly tarnished due to their practices. It wasn’t just Archeage here, I remember the outrage with how they created a specific world event to push a new lockbox type and have increasingly used such disingenuous methods to peddle these, more and more.

And come on, it’s the principle of it. Do we really need to treat customers as cattle, something to milk as much as possible. That’s the kind of thinking that ruins an opinion of a game and company. Maybe even the industry as well.

milking the cow

MMO’s are supposed to be long term endeavors. Something where you should be striving to gain and keep long term interest. Thinking about this long term interest, the reputation of your game and company, and just having some fucking respect for your players is how you maximise these profits. So please, let’s stop marketing these cheap, ridiculous gambling tricks.


Listmas 2014: 5 Dumbass Decisions in Mmo’s

While the year has seen some huge release within the mmo industry
Games many were looking forward to and expecting to see greater success but unfortunately disappointed for a number of reasons. Now these mmo’s could have been great but unfortunately they’re subject to some of the worst decisions in design and management possible.

So yeh, I’m calling it now. 2014: the year of Dumbass Decisions

Continue reading

An Anniversary of Idiocy

I can’t believe I went and forgot to write up a post for the Guilds Wars 2, 2 year anniversary. A game a swore off long ago but due to the niggling comments of some now rests back on my hard drive. Looking at the happenings it doesn’t seem like there was really much going on for it compared to last year, some more junk prizes and the game going on sale but yeh… that was it.

I don’t have any news about it at all, and it seems no one else really did either although what is taking up the gw2 news lately is all the apparent issues with the new feature pack. As usual check out Inventory Full and Why I game for good recaps. Not much to add here as I haven’t played now since my brief trip to unlock a story point and that it. Not much point ranting anymore either although I could seriously create a separate GW2 hatter twitter handle and have plenty of ammo.

No new stuff to talk off but instead I’d thought I’d highlight some of my rants from the last 2 years that still remain a little relevant although there have been changes to some of these points. An account of my own idiocy as well as that of gw2. Oh, and they’re in ascending order based on time too.

  • During the new Year of 2012 I penned my wish list of 5 things for GW2 to change, add or improve and it’s worth the look. The number one, better client performance.
  • A lot of criticism has been made towards there Personal story and I was no different claiming that it overuses boring and tripe themes as well as being far too guided.
  • My sentiments towards ftp are probably well known by now but I also rallied against the monetization of Gw2 and the practices guiding development.
  • When the Living world first started I talked a little about the design approach and that of it’s impact on the world making the claim that it really isn’t living at all.
  • My favourite rant about the Horizontal Handicap and how there really sin’t that many options for fluff to consume yourself with, or options that matter.
  • A Dialogue of Dissent looked at the creeping changes towards achievement focused play in GW2 and the industry.
  • My most controversial Rant, A game of Grind. Grind for gear and grind for gold that was in a larger proportions due to the lack of goals and certain optimal paths that still have terrible rng.
  • Last year during the Anniversary I gave a recap of how I was feeling that looked into the elements of WvW and what’s been updated, what’s broken and what’s needed.
  • With a tired treadmill I talk once more about the ever-present and soul crushing grind and highlight this with the disconnect between what the devs were saying and the implementation.
  • In Monetizing the Masses I attack a few elements of GW2’s Buy to play Model that really.. REALLLY annoy me
  • A relevant post to the discussion now where I look at the last Feature pack and How it really wasn’t that spectacular merely a collection of quality of life fixes that should have been implemented a long time ago, fixing something they broke and just needed functionality

And there you go, a collection of rather interesting rants regarding my revulsion for all that is gw2. It’s not that bad though and be aware when reading these that I love to embellish and over exaggerate. They are still large issues in my mind and issues that pushed me away from the game but not elements that everyone will be worried by.


Events and Opinions of Gamergate

I didn’t really know how to start this post. I’ve been meaning to write about the literal explosion of idiocy happening in gamergate for a while now after reading about those first rather heated accusations and attacks. At that stage though it just looked to be another sad occasion of gamer rage at girls in gaming. A little something like this.


But it’s not that at the moment, well, it is but the level of which the recent gamer issue has gone far beyond my personal bounds of reasoning. I’m literally Jackie Chan each and every morning when going over the happenings so I thought  I’d wade into the depths once more, shining  that lovely beacon of “go fuck yourself”. Hmm that would be fun but maybe I’ll try being level headed instead… Yeh, we’ll see how long that lasts. Plus I have lots of gifs that need using.

Continue reading

Ritual of the Rant

As most of my rants go, the last was just as confrontational and of course just as inadequate at really exploring the depth of my concerns and that of opinions. Going on longer tends to make those posts a wee too long and bordering on unreadable…well, more so than usual. The other part is that you tend to lose steam within that anger after a time and the post turns from amusing attacks to a Mundane Meanderings. In part it’s also an element of purging for me, all that negativity building up over time based on events and experiences just needs to be expelled so the more positive analytical me can return again. To go from looking back at the past to looking back at the future.

Continue reading

Archeage and the Path to Predictability

I keep hearing people bitch about how much damage the cloning of wow has done to the industry. How every product us the same and flitting between each release like a plague of locusts. I’ve been a part of that and even I yearn for something more… How could you not? But then, I continuously see the call for games to change; games that are maybe trying to be something different or give a different experience. That have pieced together the resemblance of a soul yet we want to stomp all over that and cram it back into that overused mould. Archeage is trying something different a least by a little, the iteration it is now is more themepark orientated but there is still a little charm there. Charm that mostly comes from certain PvP elements which many have been attacking and so, that means for me it’s time to get my flame on.


Continue reading

An Archeage Annoyance

I just don’t understand the recent obsession with Archeage, it’s seriously like gamers in general have the minds of goldfish. Perhaps Trion took so long as it is almost equal to neuralizing the mmo population. Now I’m bad too. I forget a lot but news surrounding Archeage really hasn’t been gone that long. Just a few months ago we were getting reports surrounding the game from Russia and it wasn’t just negative about the cash shop. A few months before that and we had reports from Korea. There are loads and loads of videos up already about near every mechanic and about how the game plays in general. I’ve watched many hours worth of streams about the game before this alpha nonsense but no, let’s go out and pay over 100$ dollars to try a game when there is plenty of information freely available.

Continue reading

GW2: Featuring the Failures

Now I barely follow Guild wars 2 news anymore, once I stop playing that’s pretty much the end. I’ve unsubscribed from the reddit, never visit the forums and glance over most articles on it. I read a little on the end of living story season one and it seems like they might finally have wrapped up the story well. I’m not sure they needed a year of fetch quests to do it but it certainly looked impressive.

The other recent news piece that piqued my interest was this so-called “feature’ pack and all I can think was what.. utter bullshit. Seriously, a feature pack. They certainly are the masters of artfully manipulating language to form a good impression of even basic mmo principles that have been tried and used many times before. When I look at the list of changes coming that have been outlined by the recent blog posts what I see is just regular mmo updates.

Continue reading